My Abridged Version of the History of the Marathon

I am sure you are all wondering (as I was) just whose brilliant idea it was to run 26. some odd miles just for fun! Well apparently, back in ancient Greece around 490 BC when everyone liked to kill each other and take their land, wives and so forth, since they had no cell phones the only way to communicate with each other was by runner. An important part of this runner's job was not only to deliver the message, but also to run a lap around the camp and to describe in detail the facial expressions and such of any important players in the game. I wonder if he got a drink or anything first. Well apparently there was this big hostile takeover and Athens was going to invade Persia or something but, the they negotiated peace treaty at the last minute. The invading Athenean forces however, didn't know since they were, yes, you guessed it, 26 miles away. So a Lucky runner was sent quickly to tell them not to invade. You can imagine it would be a P.R. nightmare for the Athenians who were already celebrating the peace treaty with the opposing forces leaders by then. So while everyone is having a party, poor running guy has to run the now famous marathon. I bet you are dying to hear the outcome. Well apparently so did he. He arrived breathlessly at the camp, fell at the feet of the leader, and his last words were "Nike"- was he asking for shoes? No, I guess it means victory in greek, then he died.

Now what type of morbid society has a big party while the messenger falls over dead and then decides to recreate the event that killed him and call it an Olympic sport? Not only that, but lets now have everyone do it for fun and consider it a big accomplishment, that is of course if you live. (People do still die participating in marathons a fact I did not know until I signed up to do one.)

Second, if the poor Athenian had the proper "Wicking"toga and running sandals he may have lived. He was probably clad in linen and I am sure he did not have 72 day undergarments on. Those sandals they wore had no arch support and I bet he did not have a holy hat. The poor guy had no chance! The next time I take up an activity I think I will look up it's origins before I begin and I will definitely check the mortality rate. As for the victory lap and the description of facial expressions, well, I will leave that up to your imagination!