72-Day Underwear & The End of Natural Fibers!

You may have noticed that one of my biggest issues with this whole running thing is the incorporation of all this lycra clothing. The fact is I don't really think anyone over the age of 25 actually looks good in a really tight, shiny pair of spandex pants (maybe David Lee Roth but that was only in the 80's). Now add reflective strips along the fattest part of your legs, a zipper on your butt and top it off with a neon colored lycra top (also rather tight). Of course you can't go anywhere without your lycra sports bra that makes you have a really squished uni-boob, these also come in bright colors, I really do not need to draw attention to this assest (or lack there of) either. Now emblazon this look with a major glittery, sport logo, strap some gadgets on your arms and put a reflective butt water thingy. Top it off with a holy wicking ventialtion hat.

Okay, you are now ready to go out in public, running, jiggling and panting. Here is where the I-pod comes in, if it is loud enough you will not hear yourself gasping for breath and swearing. The only upside I have found is that this super-outfit, not makes your rear-end reflective but it also serves as a disguise. I have run by my neighbors, ran in public parks, past many of my friends and even at the local high school and people don't recognize me! This is great since I was going to wear a sign on my back that said "WHATEVER YOU THINK THIS IS NOT ME!" Now I am actually beginning to think all of this "running" clothing, while marketed to to keep from chaffing,prevent perspiration and blah, blah, blah, is really just a big joke being played by all of those big sport clothing manufactures to see how ridiculously we will dress if they tell us it will help us perform better. I NEVER DID PERFORM IN THE FIRST PLACE SO HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM WICKING OR NOT? Did you know that the other day I actually saw 72 day underwear? It was designed for people traveling that couldn't change their underwear. You just rinse them out and they dry instantly. Guess what they were made out of.....LYCRA!