I'm A Runner Now!

I did it! I competed in, and finished my first "official" event. Last weekend I ran in the Los Angeles Marathon 5K run! This was my test to see if I liked running in an organized event and I could do it without looking like a moron. I was also a water volunteer in the "Big Race" at mile 19. Let me summarize my experience for you.

In order to complete this race, which was just a brief training distance at this point in my training, I had been doing some extra mileage and hill training. Well, at this point my body got wind of this whole marathon concept, apparently, you cannot go from being a non-athlete to a "super-athlete" (sort-of) without consulting your body. So, I took a few days off to rest a sore knee, then my first day back at training I suddenly experienced a pain in my heel that reminded me of giving birth. Of course I finished that run but the next day when I couldn't even stand on that foot, I had to seek medical advice. Nothing broken just a torn fascia thing in my foot. I guess it's this muscle thing that runs under your foot. Medical advice, stay off of it for a few weeks. What I hear, run the 5K, then see a specialist and rest it a bit.

So race day morning, I limp downtown to the starting line with my guys. There was excitement in the air. People stretching, warming up, eating protein supplements and such. Get ready, Get set, oops every one takes off in a large heard! So I ran, not very fast, but amazingly it hurt less to run than walk. There were people lined up all the way cheering, volunteers giving out water and even a gospel choir singing. I knew I would fall behind the guys due to my foot and I didn't bring my I-pod so I found myself making up running themed commercials for all of the fast food restaurants as I ran by them. Pretty soon I was running ole' past McDonald's, running for the border, running with Jack, etc. Before I knew it there was the finish line, I was greeted with my medal and cheers from my team just like I had completed the marathon not a 5K. We posed for pictures and then I limped over for my free banana and nuts!

Everyone treated us like we were Olympic athletes, and some people looked like they had just run 50 miles when they reached the finish line. My favorite competitor had to be the woman who was complaining as she jogged, lighting and smoking cigarette after cigarette. I guess the race coordinators never thought to post no smoking signs along the route!

Now we were off to volunteer at water stop 19, I couldn't wait to see what someone looks like at mile 19, I'll save that for my next post!

The new men in my life!

These are the new men in my life! I know I have always been too much of a woman for one man to handle so now, I have a whole team! These guys really rock my world! I don't get out of bed at 6:00 am on on a Saturday morning for just anyone. We secretly meet every Thursday night in Lot G (along with a herd of bikers and a zillion runners) for a 3 mile rendezvous followed by a romantic dinner.

This is not an exclusive relationship, we see other people, in fact there are even a few more people in our group, but these guys regularly leave me gasping for breath (or maybe that is the running.) Our relationship goes in cycles, one minute, then three minutes. We are planning a getaway together to Hawaii in September. They don't don't judge me by my Spandex and they didn't even laugh at me when I cried because running sucks! If you ever seriously consider running a marathon I would highly recommend your own running affair, you know the saying misery loves company and I LOVE MY COMPANY!

The Breast is Best for Knee(me)!

I often take pride in my ability to utilize my "inner Martha Stewart" to come up with creative ideas but I am especially proud of my latest innovations! Now you may think that in order to run a marathon, you must also be able to walk, this is apparently, a misconception. It turns out there are a variety of leg and foot ailments that while, keeping you from being able to walk, are in no way supposed to limit your training. Oh yes, they do hurt, but that is what makes you tough!

The only relief for my poor, aching, swollen knees is ice -lots and lots of ice. While searching through my deep freeze for a long lost bag of frozen vegetables to use for an ice bag, I came upon the ice packs that were used in my breast pump and diaper bags to keep breast milk cold, BINGO! They are perfect for my knees and after nursing four kids, I have plenty of them. This got me thinking, one of the other problems my feet are having is cracking and bleeding from the special running socks that do some special moisture thing, BINGO again, sounds like cracked nipples, I knew I must have some nipple cream somewhere, and sure enough I did. A few days later, I am still hobbling, but with less swelling and no more cracked heels! I wonder what I can use the extra bottle liners and diaper rash cream for!

God does not care about our mathematical difficulties. He integrates empirically. -Albert Einstein

As you may have realized from the title of my Blog, math is not an area I consider a personal strength. I don't really mind since I am a right-brained person and I would rather be creative any day. In fact if you are creative enough you can figure out how to avoid math almost completely in life. Unfortunately, sometimes in the middle of the night, you can wake up with some startling realizations.

Let me give you a little mathematical background. When I decided to start running I was researching a program online called "From the couch 2 5K". This program seemed reasonable enough so when I saw the program for the marathon and the distance was 25K, and the program I had been reading about was manageable I signed up! Imagine my surprise when I found out the program I had been reading about was really called "From the couch too 5K" and I was now going to run over 26 miles!!!!! Okay a bit of a math error.

So now I am happily training and I start thinking about running the 5K in the LA Marathon in a couple of weeks. My wonderful husband says it is only 3 miles. 3 miles should be easy, I run at least that a couple of days a week and more than that on the weekend. So I sign right up. Then I wake with a start last night and do some basic 1st grade math, if 25k is less than 26 miles, than how can a 5K be less than 3 miles? I think maybe the 5K must be more than 3 miles. But wait!!!!! I don't think I want to know how far it is, I may not be Albert Einstein but on this equation I choose to leave it unsolved!

My Abridged Version of the History of the Marathon

I am sure you are all wondering (as I was) just whose brilliant idea it was to run 26. some odd miles just for fun! Well apparently, back in ancient Greece around 490 BC when everyone liked to kill each other and take their land, wives and so forth, since they had no cell phones the only way to communicate with each other was by runner. An important part of this runner's job was not only to deliver the message, but also to run a lap around the camp and to describe in detail the facial expressions and such of any important players in the game. I wonder if he got a drink or anything first. Well apparently there was this big hostile takeover and Athens was going to invade Persia or something but, the they negotiated peace treaty at the last minute. The invading Athenean forces however, didn't know since they were, yes, you guessed it, 26 miles away. So a Lucky runner was sent quickly to tell them not to invade. You can imagine it would be a P.R. nightmare for the Athenians who were already celebrating the peace treaty with the opposing forces leaders by then. So while everyone is having a party, poor running guy has to run the now famous marathon. I bet you are dying to hear the outcome. Well apparently so did he. He arrived breathlessly at the camp, fell at the feet of the leader, and his last words were "Nike"- was he asking for shoes? No, I guess it means victory in greek, then he died.

Now what type of morbid society has a big party while the messenger falls over dead and then decides to recreate the event that killed him and call it an Olympic sport? Not only that, but lets now have everyone do it for fun and consider it a big accomplishment, that is of course if you live. (People do still die participating in marathons a fact I did not know until I signed up to do one.)

Second, if the poor Athenian had the proper "Wicking"toga and running sandals he may have lived. He was probably clad in linen and I am sure he did not have 72 day undergarments on. Those sandals they wore had no arch support and I bet he did not have a holy hat. The poor guy had no chance! The next time I take up an activity I think I will look up it's origins before I begin and I will definitely check the mortality rate. As for the victory lap and the description of facial expressions, well, I will leave that up to your imagination!

72-Day Underwear & The End of Natural Fibers!

You may have noticed that one of my biggest issues with this whole running thing is the incorporation of all this lycra clothing. The fact is I don't really think anyone over the age of 25 actually looks good in a really tight, shiny pair of spandex pants (maybe David Lee Roth but that was only in the 80's). Now add reflective strips along the fattest part of your legs, a zipper on your butt and top it off with a neon colored lycra top (also rather tight). Of course you can't go anywhere without your lycra sports bra that makes you have a really squished uni-boob, these also come in bright colors, I really do not need to draw attention to this assest (or lack there of) either. Now emblazon this look with a major glittery, sport logo, strap some gadgets on your arms and put a reflective butt water thingy. Top it off with a holy wicking ventialtion hat.

Okay, you are now ready to go out in public, running, jiggling and panting. Here is where the I-pod comes in, if it is loud enough you will not hear yourself gasping for breath and swearing. The only upside I have found is that this super-outfit, not makes your rear-end reflective but it also serves as a disguise. I have run by my neighbors, ran in public parks, past many of my friends and even at the local high school and people don't recognize me! This is great since I was going to wear a sign on my back that said "WHATEVER YOU THINK THIS IS NOT ME!" Now I am actually beginning to think all of this "running" clothing, while marketed to to keep from chaffing,prevent perspiration and blah, blah, blah, is really just a big joke being played by all of those big sport clothing manufactures to see how ridiculously we will dress if they tell us it will help us perform better. I NEVER DID PERFORM IN THE FIRST PLACE SO HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM WICKING OR NOT? Did you know that the other day I actually saw 72 day underwear? It was designed for people traveling that couldn't change their underwear. You just rinse them out and they dry instantly. Guess what they were made out of.....LYCRA!

A work in progress

I have such grand ideas for this blog. I also had no idea how tricky it would be to set-up my APLA web-site, my e-mial contact list, my Facebook contacts, a blog and ...... Lucky for everyone out there I have also been keeping track of all my adventures with that traditional high tech device known as a pen and notebook.

So be patient with me and I promise to share my journey with you as I prepare for my marathon debut. In the meantime please click on the title of this posting to visit my APLA website.