When Life gives you Lemons...

As if training to run a marathon with no natural athletic ability wasn't hard enough, try training with a fractured heel. Add to it, the fact that it was misdiagnosed for the last six weeks. I guess in a way I am relieved, I was beginning to think this was just a typical running injury and that I would just have to learn to run through the pain (which is what I was doing). When the podiatrist looked at the x-ray it took him exactly 30 seconds to say look there are two fractures running through your heel, you aren't running anywhere, time for a cast.

My world crashed, I fell apart, suddenly nothing mattered more then this marathon I have been training for. I don't know how to explain it, I am no trooper, I usually look for a way out of things, I am notorious for the stack of unfinished projects in my closet, the big ides I have but never execute and the things I walk away from when they get to hard or complicated. Not this time, people have believed in me enough to sponsor me, I am doing it to honor the memory of my step-father and I am going to do my very best to finish this.

After some discussion (I cried and begged) we compromised on a walking cast that I can remove to do swimming pool running and I can do some cardio training. There is a chance I will not actually be able to run on pavement until the actual day of the marathon but with the supervision of my doctor for my foot and the guidance of my coach for training I still have a chance.

This is how I see it, I could quit now and I would fail, or I could fail at mile 10 of the marathon and at least I could say I did everything I physically and mentally to finish what I started. I am beginning to see that perhaps that is what a marathon is all about, not necessarily a medal or a finish line.

The Marathon with no end!

It is already July, where do the weeks go? They wrap themselves around the days; first the hours and then the minutes disappear. My physical body continues to age and yet my mind seems to be growing younger with new discovery, knowledge and enlightenment. I guess that is the purpose of children, they serve as visual reminders that our time to explore and learn is only a precious and fleeting glance. Watching the development of a child you see just how brief the duration of time is to a physical body. It works in reverse as well; watching a person succumb to the ravages of Alzheimer's disease you are watching a lifetime of gained knowledge and experiences shatter into fragments the brain can no longer match. What was once a treasure eventually just disappears.

So, to try and capture any one particular point in one's life and say "this is my "now", my moment, I am ready" would really be a futile exercise in ignorance. I don't think I will ever have learned or experienced all I want to know in this life.

Will I ever walk away from Van Gogh's painting the "Mulberry Tree" and say "That is it, that was his last brush stroke, now I understand what he was trying to say"? I hope not, nor do I think I will I ever say I understand God or my purpose on this planet.

What I can say, and what I do know is this; I know beauty when I feel it, I know I am here to be of service to my fellow human beings and I am here to be source of love and not hate. These sound like simple concepts when in reality I seem to spend quite a bit of time grappling with them.

I can sum it up like this, I have figured out that I am merely in my infancy of knowledge, entering kindergarten if you will. I am packing up my backpack and setting off to school. I am anxiously looking forward to the friends I will meet, the teachers whom will inspire me, the struggles, the tests, victories, field trips and yes, even the difficulties and obstacles.

As I have proceeded along this Marathon journey I have figured out the trip may be longer than I originally anticipated. Perhaps it is good that my math skills are so weak, that way I won't realize how far I still have left to go. I may not know where the finish line is but one thing I do know know; the journey is sure to be fabulous!